In this extract from Winning Your Players through Trust, Loyalty, and Respect: A Soccer Coach’s Guide, DeAngelo Wiser offers 5 key areas:

6: Respect: Hard to Earn, Easy to Lose

Dictionary.com defines respect as Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability. How do you define respect? Whom do you respect? Why?  How is respect earned?

We sometimes seem to respect those we’ve never met. What traits do we see? Is it the way they carry themselves, the fact that they’re successful, how they come across in an interview, seeing how they react under pressure?

I believe there are five key areas where respect can be earned as a coach/leader. It is, without a doubt, the #1 attribute you must have to be effective. Without it, your team or organization just comes to work and does its job. If you have it, the team comes to work eager and passionate to accomplish new and exciting things with a willing attitude. Every day, as leaders, we have to realize that respect can vanish in an instant due to our actions or words.

Here are my must-haves to earn respect:  

If you expect more from your team, expect more from yourself. Be a shining example by looking and acting professionally. I always told my team, “You represent your school, your family, and your team; there is no more me.” The same applies for the coach. When you realize this, it creates a sense of responsibility in everything you do. 

Always out-work your team because you’re the leader. Be the first to work, the last to leave. Have everything planned and ready to go when the team arrives. Leave nothing to chance, whether it’s paperwork, preparing for practice, scouting another team, or scheduling a game. When you take care of all the details, you allow your team to concentrate on what’s important – practicing and playing the game. Never ask your team to do something you wouldn’t do.

PROACTIVE/CONSISTENT – Be a rock when making decisions. Hold a consistent line regardless of the situation, and whether it’s a trivial or serious matter. When problems arise, take care of them quickly. Every decision you make will be scrutinized, especially those that involve key players or employees. Making exceptions will always come back to haunt you. 

Explain to your team in the first meeting that you will do your best to be fair in every decision but that there will be times when you can’t be equal in deciding how to deal with a situation due to extenuating circumstances. Having a set of expectations for your team is a must.

BE HUMAN – Admit it when you’re wrong or make a bad decision. Show your team that taking responsibility is always best and that we all make mistakes. Modeling admission allows the team to see how to learn from a mistake, let it go, and move on. 

SHOW PASSION- Attend every seminar, clinic, and residential class or course possible. Become a member of your local and national organization. Be an active voice in the decision-making process of your sport or profession. If you want your team to improve, improve yourself. By doing this, you feed your love and passion for the game and come back renewed and eager to share new concepts and ideas. Your team will only be as passionate as you are.    

CARE – Be genuinely interested in the other talents of your players. Be a person they can turn to if they have a problem or situation that needs addressing. Players who know that you genuinely care about them, and their wellbeing, will always give you their maximum effort, whether in practice or the game. You will be amazed at the other talents your players have when they are allowed to share them. For instance, have a talent show night at the end of preseason, and enjoy it.    

PROTECT/CELEBRATE – Always step up and take responsibility for losses and miscues during a game, and gladly give all the credit to the team when they shine or win a contest. Allow them to enjoy their time on the team without being publicly blamed for mistakes. Respect your players, and talk to them away from the others if there are problems or issues. Work behind the scenes tirelessly for your players. Do everything possible to get them exposure, recognition, college visits, etc. 

Concentrate on these five areas and respect for your team and your program will grow exponentially.

“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.” Claude Bissell