As we near Easter 2020, and the world reels from a pandemic that no-one in our lifetime has seen, calls for kindness, generosity and forgiveness have rung out across the globe. If this is not the time to show the positive side to humanity, when will it be?
Forgiveness is a crucial theme at Easter, in particular. It is the intentional and voluntary process by which an individual chooses to change their attitude and feelings towards wrongdoing.
In doing so, negative emotions, including resentment, anger, and a desire for retaliation, are replaced with acceptance and a willingness to move forwards.
Forgiveness is not about condoning bad behaviour – it is saying you don’t want it to hurt you, or hold you back, anymore.
As we know, forgiveness of oneself is the hardest of all the forgivenesses.
Joan Baez
Many people struggle to generate forgiveness.
It really can be difficult to initiate, because actions that cause us pain – such as a husband/wife who cheated, a friend who took advantage of us, or personal guilt that has lingered in our minds for a long time – require us to overcome significant psychological inertia. Yet, the power to forgive, and move on with your life, can bring untold rewards and enlightenment.
Aside from forgiving third parties, self-forgiveness is truly one of the most challenging things an individual can do. Our brains are wired to think negatively, to beat ourselves up. “Not good enough”, “Why’d I do that?!”, “Uggghh, I am such a ____”. But we can forgive ourselves; we can overcome the mental hurdles that stand in our way. We just have to take that first step.
Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.
Les Brown
So, this Easter, at a time when we are all reflective and uncertain of what the future might bring – turn your thoughts to whom you might forgive – a former spouse, a sibling, a co-worker, yourself. Start the process, start small as you need to, but begin your journey on the path that will help make you, and the world, a better place.
Because forgiveness is like this: a room can be dank because you have closed the windows, you’ve closed the curtains. But the sun is shining outside, and the air is fresh outside. In order to get that fresh air, you have to get up and open the window and draw the curtains apart.
Desmond Tutu
Forgiveness books from Bennion Kearny.
